>Okay, so at lunch today I was reading the news, then some blog updates on some of my favorite ones. Some of which have not updated in a while and I was all, *exasperated sigh* what is wrong with these people–don’t they know I need lunchtime reading!! Then I had of moment of clarity where I was all, shit. I’m an ass. People read my blog for updates and I am a slacker. So, I have this list of topics in my phone that I really cannot seem to flesh out. So here they are in no particular order:
- I had gum today. It was suprisingly good. (I swear they are not all this bad) As I type this I am eating an orange. It is also suprisingly tasty.
- This island is RIDICULOUSLY small. I have no words as to the smallness. For example, one guy at work told me he was behind me in his truck at a stoplight and he left plenty of room so I could back up if I need to. Okay, first off…WTF–stop noticing me after work and secondly, I was well within safe guideline and stopped behind the line. Also, random strangers now know my name on the street. This happened occasionally in Chicago and stuff too cause I am an oversharer and will have gotten/given a life story while, for example, waiting in line at the bank. However…this place takes it almost to epic status. The standard rule of thumb is–don’t ever fight with anyone or talk bad about someone cause holy hell–the island will know. I have that song, “Somebody’s Watching Me” stuck in my head a lot.
- I am so addicted to diet coke it is past the point of healthy. And here, well ounce per ounce diet coke is more expensive than rum (ha ha, I totally don’t know that for sure but it is very probably). I have paid up to almost $6.00 for a 12 pack and a big bottle of rum is $7.00. This island makes me wish I drank more; although in truth most of the people here fall in the category of functioning alcoholics (if we were stateside). I’m okay with that.
- The detriment of proximity: okay, this one’s for the family members out there and this one is important. I am much better farther away. Seriously. If we lived in the same town we wouldn’t get along nearly as well. I’m kind of abrasive, use humor to my own detriment, and cripes…sometimes I am just not nice. Just remember that when you get all lovey and missing me. I’m not all that great. 🙂
- This island is where electronics come to die. Seriously. I don’t know if its the heat, the salt air, some sort of wacky messed up Bermuda triangle effect. Don’t know, don’t care. Just be aware that everything electronic is toast after a few months here.
- Most of the time I am on time to work. I have no real set start time but you know…showing up at 10 is not really encouraged. And regardless of the time you get there you are still stuck for a minimum of 8.5 hours. So, it behooves me to get here early. Additionally the earlier I get here the more I can avoid CRAZY CROSSGUARD LADY. Oh yeah, we’ve got a good en out west. She clearly wears a sign that says–Crossing Guard. Now, where I grew up and everywhere else I have lived a crossing guard, well, you know–they stop traffic and let folks cross. Traffic police–they direct traffic. So, this crossing guard lady, she stands in the middle of the intersection and directs traffic with the most crazy-ass’d hand gestures you have ever seen. The first time I saw her I thought she was doing an interpretive dance. As far as I can tell she blows her whistle intermittently and with no real meaning. However “jazz hands” seems to mean stop, “swishy hand circles” seems to mean wait your turn. I really don’t know; sometimes I just wait til she glares at me then drive away quickly. Hey, maybe “glare” means go.
- I went all Nancy Drew on my landlord this week. Our electric bill has been going crazy; and honestly I am sick of the whole thing. But I called the electric company on the off chance that he was all behind in his bills or something. Turns out not, but I was all fired up. I’m looking for a new apartment for when my lease runs out…but this may be my best option. Don’t really know. Today being friday I don’t really care. I do know that the electricity seperation is not really well though out nor is it overly accurate. A lot of guesstimations are made. I also know I have not been using my a/c anymore and keeping track of the few times I turn the fan on, etc. If my bill doesn’t lower significantly I am out of here.
- I hate my truck’s (Bertha’s) horn. On this island horn play is critical in traffic. But I don’t have the timing of the darn thing down yet so I either sound insanely road-raged or I can’t get her to make noise at all. It is frustrating.
Okay, so I know how lame these random tidbits of my life are and I shall promise to find other crap to write about.
Love and hugs,