>how to clean out a refrigerator (aka ADD is fun!)

>Step 1. work all day and while driving home wonder what you should cook for dinner.
Step 2. get home – get overwhelmed by various animals demanding attention, food, more attention, more food, even more attention.
Step 3. drag footstool to fridge, prop it open and clean out the bottom shelf. Oh the disturbing bottom shelf! Containers of goop, jars of glop, something that may have at one point a vegetable (not sure though). Throughout all of it I found random beer bottles.
Step 4. clean out bottom shelf.
Step 5. get distracted by shiny objects, do other stuff, wander back to refrigerator.
Step 6. remove 2 cats from refrigerator.
Step 7. reclean bottom shelf.
Step 8. close refrigerator, give up, and go to bed early.
the end….

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FML

Dear Sir or Madam,

Im incredibly sorry. And depressed. And kind of thinking about quitting my job because I can’t fucking understand how insanely political this tiny fucking island in the middle of fucking nowhere is. Also…yeah, I know I ended that on a preposition. But a lot of people here DON’T fucking know that. So yes, I AM smarter than a lot of people (dumber than others) and my brain NEVER STOPS RUNNING A MILLION MILES A MINUTE. I even think in ALL CAPITALS MOST OF THE TIME. My marriage…which is a laughable joke of a marriage anyway, is falling apart. I didn’t get fucking hired at this godforsaken sinking ship of an oil refinery but I did get a contract extension…maybe, it is not like I have signed anything and December is about 2 days from being over, but whatever. Who knows? Certainly not me.

And due to this insane amount of stress and just plain me being me—I made a sarcastic comment at the wrong time in the wrong place and again, just want to fucking give up.

So now I am googling “business apologies” and crying.

Today…not a good day.

>well…..hello there!!

>Hello everyone! first off Happy Holidays-please take time to enjoy this time of celebration for many cultures, celebrate the time of winter darkness coming to an end and light coming to us all.
and no that the touchy feely portion of my post is over please let me tell you how awesome it is to enjoy a beautiful sunny day on Christmas…be jealous people.
I should also throw in a token apology, because wowsa have i been busy. As you probably know I work at an oil refinery, it is a huge amazing beast of an oil refinery with some unique challenges. I often jokingly refer to my job as working in the wild west of industrial hygiene – i face problems here that no longer exist in the states. Lately however i have been doing documentation and field work quantification. I have a gift of being able to do this after spending years doing this in Chicago. Its a gift and a curse….so my 15 hour days have been “fun”. I just wish I could teach this skill, but alas it appears not so much. ~sigh~
So, my deepst apologies for not posting and not even attempting to “do” the holidays. I bought no gifts, sent not a single card. In fact i didnt even hang lights until December 24th at 9pm. I hung the lights in the window and got a big fun holiday rush.
I hope everyone has a great holiday and enjoys all the lights in your lives whether it be people, pets, or kmart LEDs – or if you are lucky like me – all 3!
Happy holidays everyone – I love you all!
-Heather

Oh yes!

Sex is deicious.
Unless the chemistry is off; in which case it is decidedly meh. And meh is…..well, meh.
But sometimes, sometimes the chemistry is there. And even if the play partner does something silly (like leave socks on) and/or air gets trapped somewhere “delicate” and comes out in a hoolarious queef things still feel great. 
Have a happy Yule everyone. Enjoy the people you love and feel good about yourselves. 🙂
-Haven.

Remember….

Remember that time when we prepped for each other for hours? Primping, beautifying, working towards being each others fantasy…
That is always the way it starts, so beautiful and perfect from far away.  The closer you get to someone the more flaws are revealed.  In some ways the flaws are what makes individuals so beautiful.   In other ways the flaws are just flaws.  

Am I feeling all thinkery tonight, can you tell? 
It sucks.

>shower friend…

>Tonight i reached down into the shower drain to clean out the “you washed a dog on monday and didn’t clean out the drain”-sized clump of hair and a spider the size of a quarter jumped out. I think i startled him as much as he did me. To quote i said, “aaaaaaaaaaah! You are NOT small!” I hopped out of the shower and went to find a disposable cup. Once i procured my red party cup i went back to the shower to coax the furry bugger into it and take him outside. Spider said, “no.”
so, to solve the problem i left the red party cup on the spider while i showered and let him loose when i was done.
thus is my story of my new shower friend, goodnight folks!