Tipping Advice…

I am not a famous person and I sincerely hope it stays that way. If, by some wicked twist of fate I do become famous I sincerely hope it is for doing something really good and not something really stupid. Because of my lack of drive to ever be famous I have no aspirations for this guide to be read by the masses, but for the love of all of the good in the world if you read it – please teach others.

anywhoodle.

I recently became aware that tipping waitstaff can really trip people up if you had a system such as “double the tax” and then you come to a place, say…the virgin islands for example, and holy crap – there is no tax. I used to work as a waitress and just like everyone else I know who has worked as waitstaff, I always tip 20% for average service. More for better, less for worse – but never less that 15% (if service was truly horrendous I would have already spoken to the manager).  But don’t let the percentages discourage you – my method of tipping is easy enough for the drunkest among us.

Lunch Receipt

big salad            $ 9.95

add chicken       $ 2.00

iced tea              $ 2.50

__________________

Total                      $14.45

So what you do is, take a look at the Total which in this case is $14.45. Now, you see that dot (aka decimal point) located between the 4s? yeah, move it one number to the left. That’s right, with every bill total you have you just hop that little sucker over one spot to the left.

$1.445

Okay, so far so good. you’ve moved the decimal point over one spot to the left and that leaves you with $1.45. Now, multiply it by 2.

$1.45 x 2 = $2.90

And that is it. It will get you 20% every single time.

  1. Hop once to the left
  2. Multiply by 2
  3. You are now tipping like a good person and not a douche and that means that everyone wins.  

The end.

Love,

H.

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Officially Old

Okay, so I always wondered if there was a moment in your life when you know, like know down deep in your bones, that you are past your prime and I can now answer….yes, yes there is. It is when you reach below the bed and pull out the “sex toy” box, brush the dust off of it, and reach in for the heavy duty massager….to use on my back.
*sigh*