it happened

It happened for the first time in so long: I was homesick.
A stomach clenching pain filled breath-taking moment of am I doing the right thing I’m so alone I want to be on my couch in illinois safe and home and not alone not alone not alone omg so alone.
It sucked.
I feel like I have failed the game of life. You know the one, the find the husband, house, kids, happily ever after stupidity they fed us as children.
~sigh~
But, my moment of doubt and deep loneliness has passed; I will be okay.
Am I making the right choice? Yes. Because as I continue failing at the game of life–I don’t want to drag anyone else down with me.
I need the freedom to not be the responsible rule follower I have been since I was younger. I need to make choices, relax, and learn who I am.
It is scary; incredibly scary.
I can do this.
I have to.

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