Why My Phone Should Be A Glucose Meter!

So, ever have a nasty disease like diabetes and are pretty sure you are generally just fine and even when you aren’t fine you are pretty sure that you are still firing on all cylinders but then something happens and you realize holy crap–you were not just fine?

…just me then?


See, I have never successfully gotten blackout drunk (that I know of). I have never gotten so far gone that I have forgotten important things like “did I sleep with that person?” That said, I have woken up and asked “where am I?”, so, ya know, I’m not a saint here.

But yesterday, my blood glucose level was low. It was high, and then I took some medicine and it dropped beautifully and I felt wonderful. Then it kept dropping and I kept thinking, shitshitshitshitshit. I drank a sugary glass of tang and we got back up to the 80s and I said–YAY! but then an hour later I started dropping again. Herbert (diabetic alert service dog in training) was spazzed out; first she is all HIGH, then she is all LOW, then low again, and again, and again–it was a long freakin’ night.

For the majority of people who have no idea what blood sugar numbers mean, here is a quick guide (please note–these are my numbers. I am not a doctor nor am I suggesting this is what they will mean for anyone else–okay? okay.)

from 0 – 10 – probably (seriously) dead.

from 11 – 30 – not good at all; probably either seizing or passed out – potential long-term health/brain damage.

from 31 – 70 – eat bitch eat! feel nauseated, sleepy, spacey, sweaty and gross. The idea of food is disgusting.

from 85 – 140 – I am a happy healthy princess of wonder and joy.

from 141 – 200 – I feel shitty, tired, and a little bitchy. Everything hurts more and I am really hungry all of the time. 

greater than 200 – doing some really good damage to myself. Extremely tired and achy and bitchy.  Everything hurts and I could eat anything and everything and then sleep for many hours. 

So today when I received an email from a reader saying the password I sent him for the locked posts didn’t work I said, huh? wait? what? And that is when I realized that yesterday when I was low I was checking emails and replying with the wrong password AND I DON’T REMEMBER DOING THAT!


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