Okay, so I have been all intimidated to get back to writing ye ole’ blog here because there is so very much to say. So I think the only way to get over the writers block of doomery is to stop thinking of it as a giant project and just start writing shit. A little bit every day and the story unfolds. Not that there are any great reveals to be shared—I am still me, still (mostly) alone, still living on a tropical island, still figuring out my place in the world. Writing every day helps me; so why did I stop? Because I have been healing and I am getting better. <smiles>
I figured something out last night. Benadryl is *not* my friend. In my past Benadryl was always the crappy cousin to Zyrtec; I would take it and it would work but it made me so sleepy that it ruined the day or conked me out at night with a sleepy dozy hangover in the morning. So, when I ran out of money and couldn’t afford any more Zyrtec I dug out the old bottle of generic Benadryl and started taking one or two per night due to cat allergies. It did not occur to me that Benadryl could be the reason that I kept waking up and feeling like there were skittery ants crawling on the inside of my skin about an hour after bedtime. Then I came down with Dengue Fever. No, I am not kidding. I sincerely thought I was dying and to be perfectly honest I am still quite drained from it. During my epic ($150) trip to the pharmacy (that would be *with* insurance by the way) I purchased me some generic Zyrtec. Last night I realized I left my ‘med kit’ in my office and I dug out the last two generic Benadryl to stop the cat-induced sneezing and about an hour later I was all SKITTERY. It was horrible. I turned my computer and began with the search ‘benadryl makes me feel weird’ and there are apparently entire groups of people deliberately causing these sensations with the use of Benadryl. Now, I knew about people attempting to trip using dxm (and actively causing brain damage) but Benadryl? For realzies? The magic of the interwebs taught me much last night as I stayed awake until 3AM (ugh!) reading ‘trip reports’. Yes, there are people who actively take the time to write about their trips to educate the less adventurous on what it is like. May all the Gods bless them for their reports. My favorite one likened his Benadryl trip as being the scariest thing that had ever happened to him and that he was definitely going to do it again, however he warned anyone who didn’t really love horror movies to never try it. Alrighty then, count me out. I need the ability to turn the movie off a’thankyouverymuch. For the record the guy was taking 10 times the dosage I was; but I fear the “old” in my bottle of Benadryl did the thing where instead of decreasing in potency with age it became stronger. Regardless, I think I am done with Benadryl for a long while.