Monthly Archives: November 2009
Protected: Weather & my sweet psycho
>Ya ever wonder…
>Ya ever wonder, maybe its okay to just be a bitch? Maybe I *don't* have to rationalize away my emotions every single time? Maybe the other people *are* just wrong and I can just not like people.
Now, maybe you all think that just feeling what you feel is normal…I usually have an entire mental discussion every time I have an emotion. "Why do I feel this way, what was that person doing, did I cause this….blah blah blah blah blah ad nauseum"
So. Anywhoodle, there is some info on how and why I may be as nuts as I am. 😉
>Why Communism Doesn’t Work…
>I’m not going to lie; a lot of me wants to be the free and easy lets all just put money in the pot and take what we need kind of person. But it turns out I’m not that. I am, instead, kind of a heartless selfish bitch. So, while part of me has always wanted to go live on a hippie commune and grow my own food the realist part of me says, yeah, but how do I pay for pizza? And you know there would be a SMACK DOWN on the first hairy-armpit that tried to steal my last slice. So, while generosity is a trait I strive for, it turns out about certain things I get snatchy and snarly:
- diet coke: do *not* take my diet coke. Do not even look at my last diet coke. I will fly over my kitchen island and smack that shit right out of your hand in a kung fu move normally only seen on television.
- netflix: If I lend you a movie; get that shit in the mail the next day. maybe 2. Because otherwise–what. the. hell. I’m paying for shit to sit at your house. gee, that’s satisfying.
- books: not all books, not even most books–but I have about a dozen books that I do *not* like to lend and if you are on the list of people who are lucky enough to borrow them you better believe I am going to check up on your progress, interest, and health and well being of my book–possibly daily.
- caps/lids: I am aware that this is some fucked up shit. I am. But if I lend you something, please do not lose the cap or lid from it. I don’t know why, but receiving something back without the cap/lid (you know, like the plastic thing over the spray nozzle?) completely ruins that product for me and I want to throw it away. An example of this is some dog stuff I lent someone to cure a dog owie. It was a spray bottle, it came back without the cap. I had to hide it in a cabinet. Also, my husbands man-hands overtightened the cap on a bottle of mouthwash, cracking it. I am desperately trying to use this mouthwash before I freak out and throw it all away. Yes, I *am* this nuts.
I’m sure there are more things; this is just all that came to me this morning. In case you haven’t noticed, there is a slight tone to this post. In the past I have tried *so* hard to keep the posts all sweetness and light; but cripes folks…I’ve been here 10 months and 8 days, that’s a lot of friggin sweetness and light.
So, prepare for a few sarcastic, grumpy, and probably hoo–larious postings. Because what it all comes down to is I’m me. And I sure as hell ain’t all sweetness and light.
Hugs & Kisses!
Protected: The best pick up line ever…
>Uh. so, November happened.
>It just kind of hit me, I wasn’t prepared, ya know. But today I just realized that it is freak’n November. Then I looked at the last time I had updated and that was LAST MONTH. Wowsa, I’m a slacker. If it makes you all feel any better I haven’t been writing as much because I have been *doing* stuff.
Also, I now have a Wii; turns out that is a hell of a lot of fun. Just saying.
Let’s see, having become a devoted fan of some other blogs (these things happen when you don’t have tv) I know that I love the minutae of other people’s lives. So, here ya go…random crap (yet again).
I am pale. Like–live in Chicago pale. I will be flying in on the 20th of this month and I *know* I am going to hear about it. I don’t know how to explain any further that I live here, I am not vacationing here. There are limited amounts of time I can spend sunbathing while performing daily stuff. But, for the sake of everyone’s expectations I will try to crisp myself this weekend.
Saturday night I went to a thing. Well, crap. I’m going to have to start from the beginning. You ever meet someone, someone who seems *so* happy with their life and with who they are that they are both inspiring and intimidating at the same time? That’s Elizabeth. I do not have her full story but she is a lovely retired woman who is a friend of some friends and we all get along very well. She is part of a group of painters called the “Palleteers”. They had an art showing saturday night. Free wine, food…and best of all–fun people.
In fact, I seem to have found my soul mates of obnoxiousness. I know, I know…a lady shouldn’t be obnoixous. Here’s the thing. In this world–there are assholes. You all know it. I know you do. If you are at a party or gathering and you end up trapped in a conversation with such an asshole and can’t find a way out–well, you signal your friend and they rescue you. One of my friends Tabra got herself caught in such a pickle on saturday, and a group of us stared at her trying to figure out if she was stuck, or just expounding her point by waiving her arms. Turns out she was in fact stuck. whoops. So as a table we decided we needed a better signaling system. After going through a few; someone suggested whooping. You know, car alarm “whoop, whoop, whoop!” while not subtle, this certainly became h00-fucking-larious and became the theme song of the evening.
But then, then I got stuck with a lechery old italian dude who was like, “is your name Heather or Leather…bwahhahhah..how very sexual.” Immediately I stared at him and sent out the call, “whooop whooop whooop!!!” and as friends started whooping along I yelled, “this is NOT a drill–Whooop, whoop!”. Thankfully, this scared off the old lechery italian dude. So, I’m not sure–but this may be my new thing.
I *really* should tell ya’ll about Halloween. Needless to say, I went to a party. And holy CRAP did I have fun. And in all honesty I could have used the whoop whoop a few times, but it hadn’t been invented yet.
Work is going well, nothing too exciting (she says, hopefully not causing some sort of explosion by saying that).
Apartment living, well, honestly…I need a stand alone apartment. My neighbors are lovely people, I like them and their cats. But we are excessively close and share a wall, and one day I really thought if I heard Margaritaville one more time I was going to cry. But, that *did* get me up and out of the house. 🙂 I torture them in the same manner for I have downloaded all of the Glee songs and have a tendency towards belting that out at full volume.
Dogs are doing fine, my new cat is decimating the local ecosystem and he goes in and out and has a disturbing habit where he goes out, kills a rat/mouse/lizard/elk, runs up to the screen door dragging its corpse to show me…then drags it away again. Bless his insane little ass–he still cuddles me at night. What more could I want in a cat? 🙂 The dogs are occasionally underwhelmed with his existence.
Alrighty. This was a half-assed posting, but hey, they have to start somewhere.
Protected: Random Smuttery
Hi. If someone doesn’t push me against something and slide inside me soon I may lose my ever loving mind.