Ask Haven!

Having lived my life as more of a horrible warning than a good example I don’t honestly consider myself qualified to give advice.  However, I’m a very open person and that seems to cause people who know me to ask.  I have answered many a question from how to get a girl off, how to ask someone to do you a different way, and how to masturbate better.  These were easy questions.   Recently I was asked a question that I am really not sure how to answer.  At least not how to answer it clearly.

But, I’m giving it a whirl:

I am a happily married man. But I have a little lady whom I have been flirting outrageously with over the past year. We have both been quite dirty with each other over email and text. We have only kissed each other once in the flesh. However, her hairdresser, is a girl I once pulled a fair bit. The hairdresser is now bi. Both myself and this girl  fancy the hairdresser and want a threesome with her, how do we go about it? We don’t see this girl really socially as such, but both have occasional contact with her.

Havens Advice

Besides the obvious advice regarding you being married in a non-open marriage and morality and blah blah blah blah blah…sorry, I can’t go any further in this comment without stating my personal view that based upon personal experience, observation, and spending the majority of my time with men and not women here is what I know.  The majority of men cheat; and quite a big percentage of women also cheat.  It has been also noticed that the higher the education level of the men tends to equal less cheating BUT I haven’t noticed a trending regarding education and its impact on a woman’s infidelity.  However, all of my experience is just that *my* experience.  Take it at it’s worth.  You have to be comfortable taking the karmic hit for you’re choices.  No judgement here.

Now, onto a DANGER DANGER warning:  Women. Are. A. Pain. In. The. Ass.  Shit, ask Polly.  She and I laughed and laughed over our experiences with the gentler sex.  I love my men and women equally; however it is a very rare woman who can maintain a sex only relationship.  This leaves me in a quandary which I shall now explain.  I can either hook up with a lady where I end up being the aggressor and getting them off and them saying thanks and leaving me wet and frustrated OR I can be in a relationship with a woman, get off, but have to commit a lot of time to the relationship.  Sex with women can be amazing…however once you are in a relationship with a woman there are feelings involved.  It’s just how they work (yeah, I am a woman, but seriously–I’m an odd one. ).  Anyway, you are considering a hook-up with not one–but two.   And dude.  That is a LOT of work.  Not to mention it doubles the chance of ending up with a bunny boiler (bunny boiler = home wrecker/stalker/insanely clingy).   Also on the side of reasons to bail on the whole idea is that just because someone is bi doesn’t mean they are into threesomes.  I mean, I am…but as I have said before (and will say again), I’m a little bit different than your average chic.

Now that all the reasons not to have been explored; here are some steps towards getting those ladies to bed.  Ready?

-first off–begin flirting in some sort of email/text format with the hairdresser.  Feel her out one-on-one in regards to whether she would be interested in fucking you again.  I recommend getting yourself a pre-paid phone with a separate number.

-so, now that you are flirting and have found out where she is in regards to YOU.  Ask her how things have been going with the ladies.  Ask her if she knows your flirt-buddy.   Then begin texting both of them together.  See how that works.

-so, you are all chatting now.  yay!  Time for groundrules.  Make sure they are both aware you have chosen your primary partner.  That this is just experimentation and fun.  Make sure they know this is a one-off.  Plan for it to only be for one time.  Again, make it VERY clear that this does not nor will it EVER become a relationship.  with either of them.  Having flirted with you before sir I know that you are intense. And that one night a bazillion years ago branded you deeply into my heart and brain and I wanted you BAD.  You are a prime candidate for a bunny boiler.

-Now everyone has agreed.  It seems business-like but the planning is critical.  Make sure you meet up with them bringing your own supplies…condoms, alcohol, more condoms, more alcohol and lube.  Then, before you start drinking, confirm everyone is okay, confident, and not in love.  Then, start drinking, laughing, tasting, and lose yourself in the moment.  Because it does feel good.  Change condoms between women as well as between holes. 🙂

I hope this helped luv!



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