You ever make a wrong move? A wrong choice which later becomes so glaringly painful all you can do is ride the pain? Taking this new job was a giant mistake. 
Not a little mistake–thus far the worst career move I ever made. 
I suppose I was due. 
I spent my entire career making some delicious lemonade out of some funky wrong lemons, lemme tell ya. 🙂 
I graduated from college with a degree in environmental science and biology which prepared for a job in……nothing.  Not true really, I was quite skilled in charming people as well as being very environmentally annoying condescending aware. 
So, given my extensive work experience in college as well as all of my contacts in the area it made much more sense for me to marry and move in with a man who lived 500+ miles away from everyone and everything I knew so he could continue with his part time career in retail.  ~head-desk-if I only knew then what I know now –I was ever so young and stupid~
So funky lemon with which I launched a decent career in occupational health.  Fyi, that cavalier sentence took over a decade of my life to actually do; so read it again for me and try to give it some gravitas or something. 

Over and over I got lucky, was in the right place at the right time, worked harder, worked smarter, begged, pleaded, and charmed my way up the career ladder.  Received more responsibility, made some mistakes….but made some good moves too.  I remained my weird self, but was often liked because I was different rather than in spite of;  I was lucky and blessed. 

Well, I fuckered that up pretty darn well. 

I will go into this further in a future post but for now I have to go to sleep to wake up and fight for survival again tomorrow.  The delicious tragedy of the entire situation is that I really thought for once in my career I was choosing the easier path.  Now I know why I always took the harder-appearing road; the bright sunny easy-looking road is the one full of unexpected and deep soul destroying painful potholes.