Haha! y’all thought this was going to be a dirty post-didn’t ya?
So, I bought a stylus for my phone. It came with an instruction manual (of all things). One of the SAFETY PRECAUTIONS they have written in bold all caps is as follows:
DO NOT SWALLOW OR STAB SOMEONE’S BODY WITH OFFERED PRODUCTS OR ACCESSORIES
mmmkay then. I bought the wrong stylus; I wanted the swallowing/stabbing kind. dammit.