Haha! y’all thought this was going to be a dirty post-didn’t ya?

So, I bought a stylus for my phone.  It came with an instruction manual (of all things).  One of the SAFETY PRECAUTIONS they have written in bold all caps is as follows:

DO NOT SWALLOW OR STAB SOMEONE’S BODY WITH OFFERED PRODUCTS OR ACCESSORIES

mmmkay then.  I bought the wrong stylus; I wanted the swallowing/stabbing kind.  dammit.