I should…

Alright, I am here in Ohio and there are so many I shoulds.  Right at this very moment there is some blissful silence.  My sister and the baby are out picking up my niece and I am listening to some quiet.  Except for some loud ass birds who are stating quite emphatically that THEY ARE BIRDS and INCREDIBLY HAPPY ABOUT IT DAMMIT.  I mean, damn.  I don’t remember Ohio birds being so damn loud. 
Holy crap, visiting the fam damily causes a maelstrom of emotion which would weary the hardiest watcher of Glee.  I know *I* am batcrap insane, but it is a whole other thing when you can physically SEE from whence the insanity began.  Whether it is my father’s penchant for the crazy women (dude, I get it…they are usually damn good in bed–but when they ban your offspring from visiting you?  damn.) or my mother’s intermittent crying jags (stop. having. emotions.) it is just exhausting.  First always comes the decision of where the hell to stay–it used to be harder because there was a grandmother and a father thrown into the mix (the grandmother went into a home (the really nice happy kind) and the dad’s wife thinks I am devil spawn) so now it just comes down to my ally (my sister’s) or my mom’s (where my second ally (stepdad) resides).  It’s usually a crapshoot and I pick the one who either needs me there more (in this case my sister who is currently raising her granddaughter) or the one who would be most offended by me not choosing the place. 
…do you see how this could be a glee episode?  do ya?  There are so many EMOTIONS and SUBPLOTS up in this bitch.  If we all sang about the emotions maybe we could put this up on Fox and actually have some money once in a while.
Ugh.  Anywhoodle.  My quiet time will soon be over and the maelstrom that is my niece, greatniece, and sister will be here.  Great good gods it is a hot mess of a situation and I wish I could be there for my sister more.  However that is precluded by distance and the fact that my great niece cries when she looks at me. 🙂  Well, I am stranger danger. 🙂  So for now I just provide giant soft teddy bears and hopefully, when she is older, a college education. 
Much love to all y’all.  Thanks to this spangly new keyboard (that actually works) I should be able to write much much more. 
*kisses*
-H.

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