I’m screwed.  My life is a Rubik’s cube of stupid at the moment.  I am quite literally on hold with the unemployment office trying to explain to them that although I was supposed to have been getting some form of money from them for the past month; I have yet to receive anything.  Additionally, I am now employed so I am expected to be at work during the hours that the unemployment office is open to go and try to get the paperwork sorted out.  My father, bless his heart, sent me a check for a sum of money that would help me get through until my first pay check–but here is where it gets awesome.  His check doesn’t arrive until Monday, but early Monday morning (well before the post gets here) I am being sent on my first Caribbean business trip to the island of St. Thomas.  I have to get a prescription before I go…the co-pay for that is $30.00.  I have $46.00 cash left to me.  The unemployment office is unable to find my file, so they are going to call me back.

I know I am supposed to be grateful for all of the love and support I have.

I know I am supposed to be an adult and support myself.

I know I am lucky to be alive and have a new job and I need to be AM excited about everything.

I am well aware of all of that; but right this moment I am so far past freaked out about money I cannot see straight. I think for the rest of the evening I shall work myself into a stressed out ball of stress, sob for a while, potentially vomit, then listen to an audiobook until I’m numb.  

ah, friday nights.  good times. ~sigh~

Correction: screw that.  I had awesome leftovers for dinner along with a can of tomato soup.  It was SO good. We are talking a roast beef with horseradish sandwich on roasted garlic bread served with a hot bowl of tomato soup.  I cannot describe how good this was.     Additionally, I came to the conclusion that I have a stupid infection and that is what is making me all emotionally volatile and beating the hell out of my blood sugars.  So, sorry for the desperate woe of earlier.  Sometimes, we all feel like absolute shit and I tend to write about it.  I need to spend my energy on focusing on the good things, like the perfect half a sandwich with some soup.  🙂

I am spending the evening relaxing after my first week of work; embracing my pillow as the true love of my life. 🙂 🙂 🙂