My trip to Ohio ended in a fairly uneventful plane ride home. I ended up not sleeping for a good 48 hours and after having EMOTIONS I finally got some rest. Things have taken on a fairly simple routine again. The dogs are happy to have me home and I am enjoying my new job; although to be fair all I have had to do thus far is review documentation and learn ‘the ropes’. Anyhow, here is some rambling info for your reading enjoyment:
So, a long long time ago (~10 years) in a far far away place (Southern Illinois) I was working and grumpy. And then I met someone I had to train and she was SO. DAMN. POSITIVE. I wanted to 1. be her and 2. smack her. It was an interesting situation. Eventually her innate happiness won me over and I embraced her happy to be working attitude. I had to come to the realization that there is only one person in charge of my happiness, and that is me. Here I am over a decade later trying to channel that happy again. However, it is weird–I’m scared as hell to let myself be happy. Everything is going fairly well and I find myself approaching life with the sceptisism and wariness of a soldier with full-on PTSD. Whenever something awesome happens I feel I need to creep toward the awesome in a slow and well planned maneuver; never enjoying it fully–just waiting for some fresh hell to smack me in the face. This is probably NOT the healthiest attitude. So, I am going to *try* to embrace some of my happy–fully and with hope and event though while typing that I felt the need to duck and cover I really am going to TRY.
My newest happy is that I have an office very near my house–5 minutes by vehicle; 30 minutes by foot. I’m usually by myself; although I am flying to another island next week to ‘meet the team’. I’m kind of excited about that part–I have never been to any of the other islands. 🙂 Today, I walked to lunch at my favorite deli (Turtles), picked up a salad and sandwich (half for lunch; half for dinner), walked back to my office and ate. It was a freaking great day. I was even productive as hell. The office is beautiful and next to a church and mini-cemetary. The neighborhood is a wee bit shady BUT this totally gives me the excuse to drag a dog with me every now and again. 🙂
So. I am excited. I am
fairly hopeful. Wish me luck island hopping next week; I will try to keep y’all updated.