I’m home! I’m employed! I’m wary! I’m emphatic!

My trip to Ohio ended in a fairly uneventful plane ride home.  I ended up not sleeping for a good 48 hours and after having EMOTIONS I finally got some rest.  Things have taken on a fairly simple routine again.  The dogs are happy to have me home and I am enjoying my new job; although to be fair all I have had to do thus far is review documentation and learn ‘the ropes’.  Anyhow, here is some rambling info for your reading enjoyment:

So, a long long time ago (~10 years) in a far far away place (Southern Illinois) I was working and grumpy.  And then I met someone I had to train and she was SO. DAMN. POSITIVE. I wanted to 1. be her and 2. smack her.  It was an interesting situation.  Eventually her innate happiness won me over and I embraced her happy to be working attitude.  I had to come to the realization that there is only one person in charge of my happiness, and that is me.  Here I am over a decade later trying to channel that happy again.  However, it is weird–I’m scared as hell to let myself be happy.  Everything is going fairly well and I find myself approaching life with the sceptisism and wariness of a soldier with full-on PTSD.  Whenever something awesome happens I feel I need to creep toward the awesome in a slow and well planned maneuver; never enjoying it fully–just waiting for some fresh hell to smack me in the face.  This is probably NOT the healthiest attitude.  So, I am going to *try* to embrace some of my happy–fully and with hope and event though while typing that I felt the need to duck and cover I really am going to TRY. 

My newest happy is that I have an office very near my house–5 minutes by vehicle; 30 minutes by foot.  I’m usually by myself; although I am flying to another island next week to ‘meet the team’.  I’m kind of excited about that part–I have never been to any of the other islands. 🙂  Today, I walked to lunch at my favorite deli (Turtles), picked up a salad and sandwich (half for lunch; half for dinner), walked back to my office and ate.  It was a freaking great day.  I was even productive as hell.  The office is beautiful and next to a church and mini-cemetary.  The neighborhood is a wee bit shady BUT this totally gives me the excuse to drag a dog with me every now and again. 🙂

So.  I am excited.  I am fairly hopeful.  Wish me luck island hopping next week; I will try to keep y’all updated. 

*kisses*

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