Dearest Lovemuffin,
I’m sorry to inform you that you have defiled our love, broken my trust, and made me question if I ever really knew you at all!
How could you!?!
Was it tastier and more exciting because you *knew* it was so wrong?
Did you at least heat them up on a plate like they deserved? Or did you eat my chinese food leftovers cold right out of the container?
Delicious leftover orange beef and crab rangoon…I’m sorry I couldn’t say goodbye. 
Maybe with time and counseling we can rebuild the trust between us.

*grins*
Heather