Okay, I know I have been through a really rough time of late. My whole world has been flipped on its butt, kicked in the kidneys, and roughed up but I survived it (thus far). So why do I sit here crippled with anxiety? So many many reasons and absolutely none of them good (although owing the IRS with no way to pay them is a pretty good reason). Why am I avoiding taking the medicine I need to function? no good reasons…just avoidance. Why am I so poor that I want to cry every single day? because I am really bad at money and no matter how hard I try to make it better it seemingly just gets worse.
This is not a post that is going to have a happy ending. This is just a post that contains a stream of consciousness about what I am feeling right now. I just want to get over all the anxiety, the grief, the depression, the poverty, and most of all…the godsdamned fear.
Keep fighting folks; I keep trying….my soul is exhausted, I feel haunted, alone, scared and broke and I keep trying. Most days I just keep fucking trying. I just want to stop crying now please.