Here I lounge, waiting for a storm…

Yup, we should be sideswiped by tropical storm isaac, thankfully not hit dead on.  I am praying for Haiti today, I don’t think they can endure another tradgedy. 
Additionally, I’m a coward today.  I have a whole bunch of crap to say to someone who thinks they are into me, but really, I don’t think they are.  I’m a pretty damn unique person who occasionally wishes she were more normal.  I passed quirky a long time ago and weird just ain’t as cute as quirky; alas, I am what I am. 🙂
So, wish me luck.  I have to put on my big girl panties and embrace my inner badass and tell this person the following: 1. Being alone and being lonely are 2 very different things. I am alone; he is lonely. 2. I am way more amazing that to just be someone to fill an empty hole in someone’s life. 3. I’m just a godsdamned nice person. If someone has a need and I have a way to fix that need I will do so. I’m learning as I age that most people are not this way and I am trying to learn to do this only when it doesn’t detract from my life in any way. I used to give away anything anyone else needed/wanted to my own deficit and that has bitten me in the butt more times than I care to admit. So, while I was out of town it seemed perfectly normal for me to lend him my truck; it was not a clue that I was trying to date him. 
And now my truck has an issue–specfically the power steering line burst. And I am sorry, but I can’t *use* anyone to fix this for me. It would make me feel beholden in a shitty shitty way that I don’t want to have to deal with.  So, since I just realized that I was all squirmy and feeling wishy washy about it and feel much better after coming to the conclusion that I will get it fixed without feeling beholden to anyone if it kills me. I feel that straight physical pleasure for money is perfectly okay; but using emotions of someone to get money is evil. 
Okily dokily. 🙂

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