Alone is not the same as lonely…

…and 99% of the time I am thrilled with my own company. But lately? Lately I have been lonely. I have repeatedly proven that I am capable of maintaining loving relationships with people far far away. Hell, maybe I am so good at it because eveb when married more than 50% of the time we were far apart from each other.
So now what.
I am polyamorous. I know in my heart and in my soul that loving more than one person is how I am made. Sadly, while love is infinite–time is not and it is just not possible to maintain deep and loving relationships with more than a few close people.
Every once in a while I feel so lonely I panic a bit and ask a beloved to give up their lives and come and be with me.
Thankfully, no one has yet to take me up on the offer. Because I know by doing that…by having someone give up everything to come and fold themselves into the stupidity of my life is just ridiculous and unfair.
I know this because I gave up everything and everyone I knew to move and be with the man I loved. And I ended up a miserable huddled mass of regret. Because how can one person become everything for another? They can’t; nor should they.
Does this mean I should try to date locally? No. Because the people I love are still the people I love. My dance card is all filled up.
I guess the answer is that I have no answers. I do know that I am alone too much and I’m not overly happy these days. But that could be surgical backlash or a host of other issues.
So, basically….what you just read was a whiny annoying post with little to no intrinsic value. Sorry bout that!
Hugs!

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