>Today, January 2, 2011 is my 2 year anniversary on this island…
I have no new insights, no new wisdom. Life here, as everywhere, is all about small details of the everyday. It is a daily struggle to balance sarcasm with wonder and practicality with joyfullness.
May everyone find their happy!
Love,
-H.

If there is a drug out there that could remove my personality…well, more specifically remove my excess personality, calm me down, remove my anxiety, and allow me to be articulate and productive should I take it? I don’t feel depressed, I don’t feel anything really.  No ups, no downs…just beige. 
Yes folks, I have begun treatment for adult ADD.  I got in trouble last week at work and this caused me to rethink myself.  I have always staunchly refused to not be myselfat work.  Sure, I’m inapropriate, loud, obnoxious, think about sex all the time, get emotionally traumatized daily…but that is *me*.  Except this time a stupid little flippant comment really upset a lot of people and that caused someone I respect to have a lot more problems due to *me*. 
So, I’m taking my adderall.  It has all but eliminated my anxiety, I’m not wallowing in my own depressed thoughts. 
As I said to a loved Demon today, its like a personality muffler. 
So…..yeah. 
I’m going to putter around the house some more.  Hope everyone is peaceful today. 

Hey folks.  I did nothing too exciting and nothing sexual for the new year.  But I’m in a very good place.   A new year, a new zen. 🙂 
I’ll admit it! im boring. I went out to a delicious dinner last night around 7pm, stopped at the grocery store, came home and watched some tv before conking out a litte bit after midnight.  It was peaceful, relaxed, and gosh darnit pretty good. 
this morning i woke up and took a walk with some friends down to the beach.  they brought their 2 dogs and my 2+foster came along as well. 
foster dog, i should tell you all about foster dog.  His name is Goofus George.  Almost 2 months ago my mother, sister, and I went to the animal shelter. I caught a glimpse of 2 emaciated tall black dogs and asked my friend who works there what was their deal.  She told me they were pure bred coonhounds who were owned by a police officer and that the shelter wasin court trying to get him in trouble for abuse of the dogs.  They had been tied in a field and pretty much left to die.  Every single bone was articulated through the skin and she told me that they were both heartworm positive.  I looked my friend dead in the face and said i would care for one of them.  I knew i couldnt afford nor have the space for both, but I could help one…
time went by and both dogs rebounded back into health, gaining 20 to 30 pounds each and still remained underweight.  the court case completed and the police officer was told he could have the dogs back (!!??) as long as he provided receipts for dog food.  He never came to pick them up.  I picked up this sweet boy last thursday.  He is a challenge, and goofy, but most of all he is sweet.  We are learning everything for the first time incuding what its like to be fed all you can eat, what its like to sleep on soft things, what a leash is, the list goes on. 
I don’t really have the time, the money, or the space for this boy…but I couldnt just let him wait in a cage to be put down after spending all his short life before that starved and unloved.  It is bad enough I could only take the one.  But, every little bit of good I can do hopefully inspires other little bits of good.  Love you all!

>I’ll admit it! im boring. I went out to a delicious dinner last night around 7pm, stopped at the grocery store, came home and watched some tv before conking out a litte bit after midnight. It was peaceful, relaxed, and gosh darnit pretty good.
this morning i woke up and took a walk with some friends down to the beach. they brought their 2 dogs and my 2+foster came along as well.
foster dog, i should tell you all about foster dog. His name is Goofus George. Almost 2 months ago my mother, sister, and I went to the animal shelter. I caught a glimpse of 2 emaciated tall black dogs and asked my friend who works there what was their deal. She told me they were pure bred coonhounds who were owned by a police officer and that the shelter wasin court trying to get him in trouble for abuse of the dogs. They had been tied in a field and pretty much left to die. Every single bone was articulated through the skin and she told me that they were both heartworm positive. I looked my friend dead in the face and said i would care for one of them. I knew i couldnt afford nor have the space for both, but I could help one…
time went by and both dogs rebounded back into health, gaining 20 to 30 pounds each and still remained underweight. the court case completed and the police officer was told he could have the dogs back (!!??) as long as he provided receipts for dog food. He never came to pick them up. I picked up this sweet boy last thursday. He is a challenge, and goofy, but most of all he is sweet. We are learning everything for the first time incuding what its like to be fed all you can eat, what its like to sleep on soft things, what a leash is, the list goes on.
I don’t really have the time, the money, or the space for this boy…but I couldnt just let him wait in a cage to be put down after spending all his short life before that starved and unloved. It is bad enough I could only take the one. But, every little bit of good I can do hopefully inspires other little bits of good. Love you all!

Hey folks.  I did nothing too exciting and nothing sexual for the new year.  But I’m in a very good place.   A new year, a new zen. 🙂 
I’ll admit it! im boring. I went out to a delicious dinner last night around 7pm, stopped at the grocery store, came home and watched some tv before conking out a litte bit after midnight.  It was peaceful, relaxed, and gosh darnit pretty good. 
this morning i woke up and took a walk with some friends down to the beach.  they brought their 2 dogs and my 2+foster came along as well. 
foster dog, i should tell you all about foster dog.  His name is Goofus George.  Almost 2 months ago my mother, sister, and I went to the animal shelter. I caught a glimpse of 2 emaciated tall black dogs and asked my friend who works there what was their deal.  She told me they were pure bred coonhounds who were owned by a police officer and that the shelter wasin court trying to get him in trouble for abuse of the dogs.  They had been tied in a field and pretty much left to die.  Every single bone was articulated through the skin and she told me that they were both heartworm positive.  I looked my friend dead in the face and said i would care for one of them.  I knew i couldnt afford nor have the space for both, but I could help one…
time went by and both dogs rebounded back into health, gaining 20 to 30 pounds each and still remained underweight.  the court case completed and the police officer was told he could have the dogs back (!!??) as long as he provided receipts for dog food.  He never came to pick them up.  I picked up this sweet boy last thursday.  He is a challenge, and goofy, but most of all he is sweet.  We are learning everything for the first time incuding what its like to be fed all you can eat, what its like to sleep on soft things, what a leash is, the list goes on. 
I don’t really have the time, the money, or the space for this boy…but I couldnt just let him wait in a cage to be put down after spending all his short life before that starved and unloved.  It is bad enough I could only take the one.  But, every little bit of good I can do hopefully inspires other little bits of good.  Love you all!

>Step 1. work all day and while driving home wonder what you should cook for dinner.
Step 2. get home – get overwhelmed by various animals demanding attention, food, more attention, more food, even more attention.
Step 3. drag footstool to fridge, prop it open and clean out the bottom shelf. Oh the disturbing bottom shelf! Containers of goop, jars of glop, something that may have at one point a vegetable (not sure though). Throughout all of it I found random beer bottles.
Step 4. clean out bottom shelf.
Step 5. get distracted by shiny objects, do other stuff, wander back to refrigerator.
Step 6. remove 2 cats from refrigerator.
Step 7. reclean bottom shelf.
Step 8. close refrigerator, give up, and go to bed early.
the end….

Dear Sir or Madam,

Im incredibly sorry. And depressed. And kind of thinking about quitting my job because I can’t fucking understand how insanely political this tiny fucking island in the middle of fucking nowhere is. Also…yeah, I know I ended that on a preposition. But a lot of people here DON’T fucking know that. So yes, I AM smarter than a lot of people (dumber than others) and my brain NEVER STOPS RUNNING A MILLION MILES A MINUTE. I even think in ALL CAPITALS MOST OF THE TIME. My marriage…which is a laughable joke of a marriage anyway, is falling apart. I didn’t get fucking hired at this godforsaken sinking ship of an oil refinery but I did get a contract extension…maybe, it is not like I have signed anything and December is about 2 days from being over, but whatever. Who knows? Certainly not me.

And due to this insane amount of stress and just plain me being me—I made a sarcastic comment at the wrong time in the wrong place and again, just want to fucking give up.

So now I am googling “business apologies” and crying.

Today…not a good day.

>Hello everyone! first off Happy Holidays-please take time to enjoy this time of celebration for many cultures, celebrate the time of winter darkness coming to an end and light coming to us all.
and no that the touchy feely portion of my post is over please let me tell you how awesome it is to enjoy a beautiful sunny day on Christmas…be jealous people.
I should also throw in a token apology, because wowsa have i been busy. As you probably know I work at an oil refinery, it is a huge amazing beast of an oil refinery with some unique challenges. I often jokingly refer to my job as working in the wild west of industrial hygiene – i face problems here that no longer exist in the states. Lately however i have been doing documentation and field work quantification. I have a gift of being able to do this after spending years doing this in Chicago. Its a gift and a curse….so my 15 hour days have been “fun”. I just wish I could teach this skill, but alas it appears not so much. ~sigh~
So, my deepst apologies for not posting and not even attempting to “do” the holidays. I bought no gifts, sent not a single card. In fact i didnt even hang lights until December 24th at 9pm. I hung the lights in the window and got a big fun holiday rush.
I hope everyone has a great holiday and enjoys all the lights in your lives whether it be people, pets, or kmart LEDs – or if you are lucky like me – all 3!
Happy holidays everyone – I love you all!
-Heather

Sex is deicious.
Unless the chemistry is off; in which case it is decidedly meh. And meh is…..well, meh.
But sometimes, sometimes the chemistry is there. And even if the play partner does something silly (like leave socks on) and/or air gets trapped somewhere “delicate” and comes out in a hoolarious queef things still feel great. 
Have a happy Yule everyone. Enjoy the people you love and feel good about yourselves. 🙂
-Haven.

Remember that time when we prepped for each other for hours? Primping, beautifying, working towards being each others fantasy…
That is always the way it starts, so beautiful and perfect from far away.  The closer you get to someone the more flaws are revealed.  In some ways the flaws are what makes individuals so beautiful.   In other ways the flaws are just flaws.  

Am I feeling all thinkery tonight, can you tell? 
It sucks.