Holy Mother Fucking Snarl.

Oh the rant…how I need thee.
*deep breath* I’m bitchy. And today I am going to write it all down here. Ready, here goes.
Happy thanksgiving–I didn’t get laid once. I paid for a hotel room with a giant jacuzzi tub in it. Which I happily enjoyed by myself, don’t get me wrong, but fuck. dude. I can’t even get hotel room sex out of the person I married? Christ…whats the point anymore.
Happy thanksgiving–my family is an asshole. all of them. okay…they probably aren’t all assholes and there is a better way to look at them, etc. but fuck…they all need to be on behavior meds or nice pills or something. Christ. I’m reconnecting with old step-family which I think is nice and adult….esp. since my current step family my dad is married to…well, she is a psycho bitch who won’t see me (so I am not allowed to go to their house. *deep sigh*
Then, the guy who I have been falling in love with, well, our playful texting may have gotten out of hand. I am submissive; llllooooove to be dominated but as soon as a fist comes flying at me I immedietly want to fight. And I fight dirty and hit hard. Slap my ass, whip me, slap my body (face slapping gives me the same feeling as punched), pinch me, tie me up, make me face the corner….whatever, but as soon as a closed fist comes my way it makes me block and counter. too many years of training to fight that instinct. So now he and I are all awkward. grrrrrrr.

then I get home and well, most of my beer is gone, my gas tank is half empty (full when I left), and I fucking had to get a cab from the goddamn airport. and I arrived to an electric bill higher than anything else I have ever had.

I’m mad.
and bitching.
and kinda want to hit someone.