There is a small subset of the population which truly are my kryptonite. They all appear to have the following similarities:
- They are big dudes. Seriously, we are talking that guy that when they walk in the room people say, “whoa”. Usually over 6′ 3″.
- They are very smart.
- They are very dour.
- They are intrigued by me, sort of attracted to me, but don’t really like me very much.
The first version of my kryptonite I married, the second moved to another country while I was out-of-town, and the third one just disappeared before I could ever kiss him in person. I *should* be thankful that I didn’t get a chance to do something stupid like fall in love with him. But boy howdy is it going to be awkward when we run into each other (notice I didn’t say “if”? yeah, the Gods love awkward way too much for it to be “if we ever run into each other”).
The problem with H-Kryptonite is that I *want* to make them happy. Everything inside me screams to do everything I can to make them happy–but when they aren’t (see #3) it hurts me because I feel like I failed. Lame, right?
So, new rule? If a suitor comes my way and they display any version of #4 – it is a HELL NO because I deserve better. If they have either #1 or #2 (yay!) but if they combine either of those with a #3 I’m thinking itsa no.
I need a flow chart.