Dear Cervix.

Well, fuck. I have an infected cervix. No, it is not from an sti. Yes, I double checked. It could have been a couple of things 1. trauma (okay, sometimes too rough is too rough) or it could have been 2. ocean sex.
Or maybe some jack-assed combination of the two. One thing I know is I feel like utter crap. All I want to do is go back to bed–ALL DAY.
So anyway,
Dear Cervix,
you make me sad; please stop trying to kill me.
Thank you,

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