I was going to write a vilifying post about this evil plumber guy who is the living embodiment of
everything I could possibly loathe all wrapped up in one human being but then a puppy pooped its own weight in my office and very little in the world as thought derailing as a service dog giving you a panic-eyed expression while a co-workers puppy-in-training is dropping a load in the corner of your office.
I can actually say that right now I love my life. 🙂
Sure, I just cleaned up a load o’ poo and that jerk of a plumber is still over there lurking in his ‘allthatiswrongintheworld’ type way…but in reality all is going okay. You are probably wondering why I loathe this man? Well, because he is a asshat. Like, a real one. An oldschool woman-hating jerk. Asked for a mop and when I showed him where one was he picked it up and attempted to wring it out by hand (eww). I showed him the wringer located on the mop and he said, “I am not a woman; I don’t know how to use these things” my reply? “Well, I’m not a man and I know how to use every tool you have with you. So what’s your point?”
He seemed to think that was hilarious but since that crack plumbing team of “asshat” and “onthephone” brought an arsenal consisting of one pair of channel locks and a screwdriver I can honestly state that I have the ability and knowledge to use every tool they brought with them. Every single time I do a minor (MINOR) amount of plumbing (open u-bend to find lost whatever, new shower head, new flushing mechanism, etc.) I end up thinking how much I HATE plumbing. It only follows the timeless “righty tighty – lefty loosey” rule SOMETIMES. I mean, seriously? And did you know that the toilet you are sitting on right now is only one squadgy oval of wax away from leaking poop-water on your floor? At least with electricity you know water = bad and you also can state that enough of it will kill you. Zap = dead. Toxic vapors? Yep–they follow rules too. It’s just those sneaky damn plumbers with their sneaky damn plumbing making up rules as they go.
But they are smart buggers–I mean, no-one wants to crap in their own yard in front of the neighbors (could someone please inform the puppy about this?) so when that there fancy regulation wax dries out and poop starts seeping you are probably going to end up needing a plumber.
If I could do it all over again?I would TOTALLY become a plumber. :o)