>Wednesday. Why?

>Well, I’m fussy. I don’t feel all that great, I’m trying to cut back on my diet coke, and today at work just kinda blew. You know, things don’t work right, but then when you get them back to the office to “fix” them (aka smack them around a little) and I turn them back on and they work just fine. Freakin’ annoying electronics.
I have a list of about 85 things I need to buy at kmart; and well, I am just not emotionally prepared to deal with kmart today. The last time I was at kmart I was there for 2 hours: 40 minutes of which I spent in line; 30 minutes of which I spent wandering aimlessly while they attempted to fix their “system”; and the other 50 minutes I spent trying to obtain items on my list and avoid running children. That’s right, I said running children. Not that I haven’t been tempted to run some of them over but I am still traumatized that at one point a child RAN FULL SPEED INTO MY CART. He almost knocked himself clean out. He looked all shocky and cry-y; I didn’t know what to do. This random (mean) lady said, “oooh honey, did she run over you?” Refusing to appologize for yet another thing I didn’t do I opened my mouth to object when the mother of said speedy child said, “DON’T YOU CODDLE HIM; AND HELL NO THIS NICE LADY DIDN’T RUN INTO HIM–HIS FOOL-ASS RAN INTO HER; MAYBE NOW HE WON’T RUN”. On one hand this little dude totally hit hard, on the other HELLS YA! You tell ’em mother of speedy boy! This nice lady didn’t do nothing wrong. darn it. So, yes. Long story short I now have to defensivly drive my shopping cart. And now you can understand why I am not yet emotionally prepared to go to kmart–it’s exhausting.

Dear Cervix.

Well, fuck. I have an infected cervix. No, it is not from an sti. Yes, I double checked. It could have been a couple of things 1. trauma (okay, sometimes too rough is too rough) or it could have been 2. ocean sex.
Or maybe some jack-assed combination of the two. One thing I know is I feel like utter crap. All I want to do is go back to bed–ALL DAY.
So anyway,
Dear Cervix,
you make me sad; please stop trying to kill me.
Thank you,

>was I depressed?


Everyone I know (including myself) has been depressed at one point or another throughout their lives. This weekend, I wouldn’t have called myself depressed as much as coma-like. Sure, I accompolished a couple things–a load of laundry, scrubbing out the cat-box–but in general there was much couch-ville and hulu on a 10″ netbook screen.
I could easily blame this move-less-ness on so many things… but being completely honest I took a weekend of 2 mental health days; and it was awesome. Of course, by the time Sunday night came around I had that dreaded sense of, “oh no, I haven’t finished my homework,” but in all actuality I didn’t have any homework and I get that sense of dread every Sunday (damn you school homework; scarring me for life like that!).
The other thing I accomplished this weekend was cereal. I know that sentence makes no sense but keep reading. So, I read other blogs–I find some of them awesome, some of them are boring, and a good number of them just cease to exist. However, my favorite at the moment is 2birds1blog.com I find the girl named Meg hoo-larious. Well, she waxes eloquent about Kashi Go Lean Crunch a lot. Finally tempted into trying it and Sweet Baby Heyzus its delicious! In fact, that’s what I ate all weekend. ALL weekend. Did I mention this has like 4, 786% (okay, exaggerating–but it’s a lot) of your daily fiber needs? This all leads into:

Important Tips I Figgur’d Out Last Week

  • Do not go from a crappy diet limited in fiber to eating nothing but fiber-filled cereal. This causes “issues”. Issues that, while hoo-larious, cause your dogs to look at you in disgust or worse, bark loudly in response to the dog that apparently crawled up your ass and is barking for help.
  • When you live on a small island with a small highway do not speed on it. If, by some evil twist of fate you do speed and get pulled over by the cops, do NOT ask them when the last time their radar was calibrated because “surely” I wasn’t going that fast. It does not make them like you more. (that said, I still maintain their radar was mis-calibrated)
  • No matter how lazy you are over a weekend; at some point the dogs will leap on you and make you get up. This is a reason I maintain anyone living alone needs to have a pet. Additionally I have to move around a lot more because I feel if I stay still too long my new cat will attempt to eat me, but that is a story for a different day.

Happy Thursday!!!

Well, I am *trying* to make it a happy thursday, wednesday was a brand of hell I haven’t experienced a lot of; just tons of really crappy not the end of the world kind of things…but by the end of the day I was looking a little shell shocked.

1. Paying snafu. Yup, my little company is supposed to get paid by a bigger company which bills the biggest company. The biggest company didn’t come up with an important number which means I don’t get paid. Oh yeah, I have no money right now. It is not awesome.

2. Went for my girl-y doc. appt. a couple of weeks ago. you know, “riding the metal table,”; getting poked and prodded, etc. I always feel it is just good manners to get std testing done. I mean, I can only control my own actions and sometimes I don’t even do that very well. So, it is always better to know and be safe, etc. I had gotten most of the results (all good) but was still waiting on the blood-based results. Those weren’t in yesterday but did find out that (again–same as last year) that there were atypical cervical cells. Usually doesn’t mean anything (didn’t last time) but it is just one more (damn) thing to worry about.

3. Got a mother fucking speeding ticket on the way home. I argued with the cop–which it turns out they don’t like so much. *grrrrrrrr*

So, anyway–so far today I have found out that I am clean STD-wise. YAY!!!
Probably the atypical cells are from too much masturbation. Additionally I still have no money. 🙂 I’m wondering at what point to go on strike. 🙂

Okay, that was just a super quick update regarding my world.
I have some really juicy stuff I am working on and can’t wait to post.

>People, I’m pooped.

>Hey folks.
Still busy doing the quitting of one job and beginning of another while in reality doing the same darn thing. Sometimes I realize just how weird my world can be.
I normally update this thing on Sundays–but I was actually doing stuff. I am currently a lovely shade of lobster red on my shoulders from an afternoon at Sandy Point where I swam to my hearts content. Everyone remember the movie Shawshank Redemption? Yeah, that final scene was shot on the beach I was swimming off of. I live in the paradise that prisoners dream of escaping to.
Speaking of escape: I get to take a trip home over Thanksgiving; I am very excited. The one thing I have noticed about people from here going stateside–we all plan where we are going to eat. Don’t get me wrong–food is plentiful and delicious here but options are limited. Also, after being at work all day after I get home it is just hard to leave again. But then–I am a total homebody. So here is a list of things that I have planned to eat so far during my Thanksgiving Midwest Tour (where I apparently plan to gain more weight than your average cruise ship passenger):

-Walker Brothers Pancake House
-JK’s (local place of tasty breakfast)
-Taco Bell (don’t hate–if you don’t ever get it; come on you know you would want it)
-Portillos (mmmm, I want a chopped salad, fries, and a beef and cheddar croissant)
-Moon Temple (mmmm local chinese)
-Dunkin Donuts (Coffee in a super large horrible for the environment styrofoam cup and a glazed donut)
-on the way to Ohio we always get Hardee’s at the rest stops. mmmmm, 43,589 calories of fat

I’m sure I will think of many more things to eat. Oh yeah, AND I will get to see my family. 🙂 🙂 🙂
(see? see how I was funny there? made people think I cared more about food than my family? funny huh?)
Hugs to everyone!